Herewith a link to the feedback received from my tutor Douglas Seville for Assignment 3:
The main points that I took from this feedback were as follows:
1. I should delay the Violin 1 entry until bar 9 and instead, transfer the line to the second violin and the accompanying lines in the viola and cello. This will reduce the doubled pitches and give the first violin more impact when it does enter.
2. In general terms, more variation to the sound can be created with more contrast in the arrangement.
3. I should look to vary the rhythm of repeated phrases in the main melody in bars 17 & 18; this could help to make the arrangement sound more unpredictable and in turn add more excitement. Moving the varied second phrase to the second violin would also create more contrast.
4. I should move the off-beat accompanying rhythmic line in bar 17 to the cello which will allow me to create a more substantial secondary line in the viola. This will in turn contrast more with the main melody and rhythmic accompaniment which could be used elsewhere later on.
5. Move the melody line in bar 24 from the first violin to the viola and move it up an octave for a more resolute sound…the change of sound will also help to focus the listener. More allargando could be created with more quaver movement in the accompanying lines.
6. Generally, more detailed indications of expression and dynamics would be good. I also need to remember the rules around phrasing and bowing, e.g. how the phrase in the first violin of bars 9-10 should be played.
7. In playback, my tutor wasn’t sure the instruments sounded like they were being played by single instruments and I need to ensure that I have the solo versions of each allocated to the arrangement and not the ensemble versions.