Herewith a link to the feedback received from my tutor Douglas Seville for Assignment 4:
The main points that I took from this feedback were as follows:
1. The tied notes in the melody would benefit from more support from the accompaniment, which could emphasise the tied rhythm. One suggestion is to not only double the pitches (C-D-E) but also add a fourth?
2. The melody in the second half could again benefit from stronger rhythmic support in the accompaniment instead of lines being doubled in the strings.
3. The upbeat effect of the second violin in bars 5-6 would be improved with more support, perhaps from the cello to balance with the other instruments.
4. Provide an introduction to the clarinet countermelody in the upbeat from bar 4; this will help to resolve the question of which 3 pitches to choose and which instrument to arrange them for.
5. Remove staccato dots from tied notes in the melody.
6. Add more dynamics generally.
7. Check that both arrangements are of a suitable length.